Lord of the Rings
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Alone in the Dark
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Nike Pas Cher
Commentaries on this disc:
Director Uwe Boll
Rating:4.7/10 (9 votes) [
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Reviewed by Lord Bullingdon on October 12th, 2006
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There's nothing funnier than listening to a director praise a film everybody knows is awful. This commentary is one big joke that everybody, except the director that is, is in on. In this unintentionally hilarious commentary the director also insists that while Tara Reid is a crap actress, Christian Slater is a way better actor than Keanu Reeves (wha?) and later takes offence to someone on the Internet Movie Database who said this film is "worse" than Alien Vs. Predator. What, exactly, does saying your film is better than Alien Vs. Predator prove? To Bowl it proves a lot and that's all we need to know about him.
Oh, and here is a direct Boll quote from the commentary. Know that Boll is 100% serious here. And 100% crazy.
“They are loosing against the creatures and this is the basic idea behind the whole movie; zat it is the revenge of nature against the whole human civilization so the basic idear is zat the lights of civilization, of civilization is burning everywhere so zer’s no space anymore for the creature in the darkness hiding in the darkness and that means also that if ze balance of nature is out of control, er, people getting wrong, and people getting in, er, get not, not, people were wrong, ze climate gets wrong and we saw, for example with the tsunami in Thai Land that nature is getting out of control and we having ze South and North pole melting and the problems coming up so Roland Emmerich’s movie Day After Tomorrow was, is an example for zat what could happen basically and we learn it year after year, more and more, zat, uhhhhh, ze problems are not getting smaller and it’s not about social problems and employer-less people or whatever but, uh, nature and the, uh, uh, problems we have with securing nature and the balance between day and night, light and darkness and civilization and nature.”
Reviewed by BadMovieDrinkingGame on August 9th, 2015
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Uwe Boll spends a good deal of the commentary stating (without explaining) that his movie is much better than all of the Hollywood garbage that came out around the same time as his movie and criticizing
audiences for attacking his movies.
For a sample of his commentary...
Reviewed by grimjack on June 11th, 2021
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The commentary is more entertaining than the film, but neither is worth listening to. True story: I had to see this film twice, because I fell asleep during it in the theater, and saw it on VCD a few weeks later.
Uwe implies his audiences are dumb, and that is why he wrote the starting text crawl to explain what is happening and going to happen. But he hoped Tara Reid looks intelligent by wearing glasses (spoiler alert, she did not).
Said Tara Reid was not the right actress as she is not a physical actress, but he appreciated that she worked hard to promote the film, even if she refused to get topless for the sex scene, even though she is regularly photographed at parties undressed all the time.
He does bring up how the video games were the basis, and speaks highly of them, but as far as I can remember the early games it does not follow them at all.
He also inexplicably says that he tried to make a serious drama and an action movie at the same time. And that the film deserved to be more widely seen as it is better than most Hollywood garbage, because it tells a better story. Something large, about nature revolting against humans.
Says he makes an homage to Equilibrium, a film I recently saw, but in that film, they lit a shot with gun fire due to budgetary reasons.
He is serious in trying to imply this is a more of an artistic drama with a message, than just a low budget video game action film.
His ego comes up once again towards the end when he says he went with what he calls a David Lynch ending. And feels he got punished for it, because he did not do the more traditional action ending with a big battle with the largest creature possible.
Near the end he said that he hoped to do a sequel to the film if it made enough money. (Ron Howard voice: It did not.)
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