One director with a gift for verbal slight-of-hand is Elias Merhige, who’s high-minded blather on Shadow of the Vampire can fool even the most seasoned commentary track buff into thinking he’s saying something important. Almost. He speaks with the hushed reverance of the most high-brow critics, but it takes no time at all before he starts drooling praise over virtually everyone in the cast in the crew as “absolutely, wonderful, wonderful” people. His commentary quickly devolves into subtle narration in which he points out the most obvious of thematic elements as though his film might be too deep for us to fully appreciate. Puhh-leeeease! I loved the film, don’t get me wrong, but it was really just a glorified genre picture with a neat twist on established events. Original, kinda, but hardly worthy the awe with which Merhige wants us to view it. Not the worst comentary I’ve ever heard, if only because it SOUNDS more pretentious and deep than it really is, but it’ll never be heard again.

I did learn, however, that his name is pronounced like “marriage.”